Jessica — this is under the category of “totally not my business” but you mentioned you are on the spectrum — I’m assuming you mean ASD. I find that difficult to believe! My opinion doesn’t matter though. But here’s the thing — words matter. Alot. So, if you believe, even jokingly, that it’s true, part of your brain believes it as well. I advise clients (I know you aren’t one) to be careful with that kind of talk (e.g., I’m crazy, I’m weird, I’m a bitch, etc.) bc the brain has a way of internalizing it and making it true. Food for thought.