I’m sure everyone has their own perspective. However, you say that you’ve never been dumped before, so right there you seem to suggest that you don’t know what it’s like to experience the rejection, betrayal, and disrespect inherent in most break ups. The long term erosion of feelings in a relationship, and the subsequent deception that comes when we fall out of love and are just going through the motions — to me, there’s no comparison. My 10 year marriage ended like that. Big deal. On the other hand, I had a fiancé with whom I was living who broke up with me in an email like a coward and moved out of our home while I was out of town — that wounded me 1000 times more than the fact that my wife fell out of love with me over time, and took awhile to figure out how to tell me. There’s no comparison. There even are rules in war that you just don’t break.

It’s how we handle ourselves in times of great stress that we truly let the world see the depth of our character. When you “dump” someone, you can do it with maturity and dignity and yes, even love. Or, to be blunt, you can be a mean-spirited c-nt. It’s not a zero sum game, but those are your two basic approaches.

A “woman” I was seeing broke up with me out of the blue this past weekend. 32 years old, and she brought a group of her friends with her so they could watch as she ended things. A week before my birthday. Literally no warning at all. Humiliating. To me, her immaturity, cowardice, and the tone deaf way she involved her grown-ass friends totally negated all the positives with which she presented in the relationship. Now I just see her as a pathetic child. That, to me, is where you see the measure of a person. I contrast this with my ex-wife, who was compassionate and honest even when we went in front of a judge. She’s a class act. This most recent one, however — just a silly, lost, petulant fool.

It’s how we handle crises that truly defines us. I just thought an examination of this truth would have served your purposes better.