I’m afraid we’re going to have to agree to disagree. I’m not sure I’d use the word blame, but yes, I unequivocally hold the adults responsible. Who else do you suppose should be? None of the 5 points I mentioned have much to do with a child’s behavior. They have to do with adults behaving like responsible adults.

In some exceptional circumstances, as is the case with severe autism or brain damage, children are born with metaphorical faulty wiring. In the vast majority of cases, though, behaviors are learned, and they learn them from their parents.

I’m not judging these adult toxic behaviors any more than an oncologist judges a tumor to be malignant. This isn’t a matter for debate, just like it’s not a debate as to whether malignant rumors can kill. Parents don’t get to use their kids as an excuse for maladaptive behavior. Not if they don’t want said behaviors to do irreparable harm to their children. Thank you for your feedback.