Everyone’s ex is a narcissist these days. Nevermind if the use of that term is unfounded or misapplied — these people hurt us so therefore they are narcissists. The truth is, we can’t possibly know for sure, but that doesn’t stop us from applying that label. It is entirely possible to be self-centered, abusive, and an awful human being, and not actually be a narcissist. It is not a catch-all term for these types of behaviors. I also can’t help but wonder what the author’s role was in this relationship. History is written by the victors, as they say, and articles like this one are written by the scorned, with very little self-reflection and a one-dimensional portrayal of another human being that can’t possibly be true because humans are never ever that simple. Of course, tons of people will read this and see themselves in the story, but that doesn’t make the analysis correct. It just makes it popular. We all need to stop assigning diagnostic labels to people we used to date. Many if not most therapists like myself are alarmed by this trend. We see it in sessions day in and day out. But the truth of relationships is far more complicated. If you’re at all curious about my take on this phenomenon, feel free to peruse my response to articles like this one. https://medium.com/@RandyWithers/in-defense-of-the-narcissist-f5c94f409e1f

On a less confrotnational note, the article is well-written and the author is quite intelligent. But when we write about relationships, our perception is heavily biased to the point where we should all be skeptical. Everyone always cast themselves as the hero in their own story. Everyone. That alone skews any essay based on personal events.